Goddamn stupid TBNS.net!!! I can't believe they've put ads on the bloody thing. *SIGHS* and me in far, far too much debt to get my own domain.

I think feeding myself ought to be prioity one, don't you?

*sighs* I hate e-mail. I hate staring at a blank screen wanting to be angry but feeling useless and frustrated instead. I don't know. I can't /think/. I was deathly afraid all weekend I was going to have a Fit in front of the poor Fox.

I'll explain, briefly, a Fit. Basically, my head begins to rock. Usually, I can arrange for this to occur when I am lying in bed or in a soft enough place, and for my glasses to be removed. The rocking gains in momentum until I am slamming my head repeatedly against said (hopefully) soft place, while my body thrashes, jerks, and twists as if it were on the end of a noose.

I do not know what causes these, but they are blessedly rare. Yes, I tried drugs, but they only removed the impetus to prepare myself-- I used walls.

On a more cheery note-- I do believe that I am employed! at the disney store. Woo hoo!! This means that i can get in free to disneyland. i just have to do the paperwork tomorrow or the next day.

Oh yes.

O is so cute when she's asleep. Aww.

I had a headachy dream last night. I ran into the Ex-Boy (there's only one boy that qualifies as the Ex) on a train to this jewish summer camp. We had a perfectly civil, and actually friendly, if still tense, conversation. Catching up on old times and the like. Babbit was in it!! she was groovy to see. but not on the train-- i talked to her later. And Puma, also, whom I woke up smelling. And some other, so old friends. And Jim Booth, though-- mercifully-- he had some girl with him.

I have the presicely the energy to get through this entry, then, I do believe I shall go forth and, merrily, throw myself headlong off of a cliff. I seem to think that I shall survive this.

hey nonny nonny.

<<agé chose>>

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