(This was yesterday. I just didn't have time to post it 'cause the server wasn't up again before I had to go. Huh.)

I'm not a very good mommy. O just spent the last few minutes throwing up, poor dear.

I have been having disturbing dreams today and last night. The first one involved wooden staircases collapsing on people, and other people being indifferent. The second one I had after I went back to sleep at 9, and in it, I was pregnant. I don't know whose it was; I think it was divine intervention though. I still hadn't slept with anyone male.

The wierd thing was how quickly it developed, and then, when it was born, it pushed itself out through my belly, and so was practically immaculate. (yes, yes, i know...) Fox had to call for a doctor, becuase it was all so wierd, and the little girl had a skin membrane over her nostrils, so we worried if she was going to suffocate. But she learned how to breathe through her mouth, and all was well; the membrane broke. Her name was Bess, which I thought was cool when I wanted to read her 'The Highwayman' later. And she was almost immediately walking, and she had this beautiful black hair.

But noone quite understood when I tried to tell them about her, and Fox was the only one who seemed at all concerned-- even when she went missing, at the hospital. Not even the doctor seemed worried. She was walking almost immediately. People said that yes, her birth was wierd, but they didn't get it-- that this little one might just be desprately important. She was going to have a little brother, but this guy who I think was a relative or co-worker of Clay's accidentally smashed the boy's egg. Possibly not beyond repair, but pretty bad.

*sigh*

The dream ended at a point where Fox was going to church, and Clay and Cindy weht with her. I didn't go, because I was looking for Bess. She needed to eat, at least, and, well, my body rememebred it had given some form of birth. I hadn't yet found her when I woke up, searching among indifferent people and people who scolded me-- but not for losing her; for things that made no sense to me. Ungh.

Sylvia Bess sounds better than Bess Sylvia, n'cest pas? I couldn't think of a middle name in the dream. But Sylvia is what I have wanted to name a little girl.

And now, and now, and now, I have to go to work.

<<agé chose>>

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