So you remember that bit in Dune about Fear being the mind killer. I contest that Fear is like fire. As anything, the best and worst comes out of it. Though I rather prefer the term Awe, when speaking of fear that motivates and does not paralyse.

It's funny how one can confuse lack of desire and the presence of fear. It strikes in the most unbelivably rediculous ways. Who would have thought; a body cowering in terror from an IM box! It sounds so damn stupid. What an odd scar!

I used to ask people to repeat things without flinching, really. I used to sit for hours and spend time focused hard on eight million things at once. I used to have so much attention I could spread about like a belle at a ball. Then I started looking at myself through other eyes, ones so strange to me I forgot how to look at myself at all.

Because it is never the outward forms. It is not games and wasting of time more important to me than others. It is I. I am more important to me than anyone else will ever be, ever again. What takes... the thing is, there are people, the main of the ones I know well, in fact, where treating them well is, in fact, good for me. There is a difference, between that and this. They're not all out to trap me into a little box and squeeze me dry of myself.

I hesitate to think it is that easy, but... I shouldn't think I have to hide from my own friends, I shouldn't have a squeeze of fear when I think of people knowing I'm online and who they might tell or not, I SHOULD NOT HAVE DREAD AT ALL. IT'S JUST A GODDAMN MACHINE.

with people on the other side.

Of whom I should not be afraid.

<<agé chose>>

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