The 15 minute break, Praise the Lord and pass the tissue paper. I haven't been happy very much in the past year I have noticed, as I have been spending most of this workshop re-reading my paper diary, the private one. It doesn't feel like that though, even though I am miserable right now. But it is a different kind of misery; The sadness of the stuffed nose and the achy boredom and being so overstuffed and thick that I cannot focus on contemplating Torah.

This is one of the troubles of having personal faith-- it is crippled, a little, in it's lonliness. It's a bit of a deseased thing, to learn only by your own wisdom, and to rely only on yourself to determine wisdom. Which is not to say that one should accept another's ideas of wisdom univoqually, but it is good to listen to what a teacher thinks is wise and to consider it.

Remembering that in an abstract way, it is said that all books are the Torah.

So I would be reading The Seventh Telling, but I cannot approach it in the right frame of mind. It wants to open, clear out, and broaden me, and I need this, but I need comfort more, and the little dark places. I'm too damn cold.

It's hard to be expanded with chilled fingers. This is actually explicable with physics, and the properties of hot and cold things. Remind me to remind myself about the four worlds of creation.

four, foundation. With Five, the man can hide inside of his house of four, or he can stand outside of it.

I want to hide under the bed, myself.

Back to this g-dforsaken workshop. Resume cover letter my left testicle.

<<agé chose>>

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